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Saturday, April 6, 2013

THe Human Centipede 1 and 2

I'm not even going to spend a lot of time on this because quite honestly I'm pissed off that I wasted hours of my life watching these. Don't get me wrong they had really great movie lines but its just the way that the characters went about acting it out that pissed me off to the fullest of pistivity (as my my mami would say).


So part one obviously the guy is like a retired surgeon and he gets this creepy idea to make a human centipede and of course a centipede has one digestive track soooo of course his centipede will too.
Creepy Doctor guy
So heres where the movie got gross! In order to make sure that not just the first part of the centipede was fed and nourished the crazy Dr cut the anus of the first person and the mouth of the person behind so that he could secure their mouth over the person's butthole so whenever part A pooped part B well....ate it. THe same thing goes for part B and C. GROSS! Oh and he cut their knee bones out to make sure they could never stand up again...double gross.

     Now onto the things that pissed me off the most about this movie. The first thing that comes to my mind is that when one of the girls goes to escape she manages to get all the way outside BUT this dummy decides shes going to try and drag her drugged up/knocked out friend with her. Like how freaking far do you think you're going to get when you can barely walk AND you're going to try and drag her all the way to safety...stupid! Then it makes the German police look hella stupid because two detectives show up to Mr Creepy Dr's house and he is acting stranger than a mother-fraction and they don't seem to respond to it at all. And to top it off the Dr offers them a drink and they accept it! So of course you already know the Dr has dropped something in their drinks...stupid stupid stupid. And finally the last thing that made me so mad!!!!
     When the Dr keeps insisting that Cop A drink his water the cop slaps it out of his hand and onto the floor. Then the Dr really starts flipping out acting crazier and even this doesn't really seem to put up the detectives radar. The Dr goes away to say he's going to get a towel, which he does, BUT he also comes back with a syringe containing some crap to knock Cop A out since his stupid partner is already messed up from drinking all his water. Now the ward for big dummy of the year: At one point the creepy Dr is cleaning up the floor but accidentally drops the cloth he was cleaning with and tucked inside was the syringe. Normally I would think the cops would draw their weapons and be like all crazy but these idiots simply leave and say they'll return later on. And they do...JUST THE TWO OF THEM!

Long story short movie pissed me off from middle to end.

Centipede part 2.....was basically a sick, self mutilating, creepy guy with childhood issues who was obsessed
Creepy obsessed guy
with The Human Centipede movie so he decided to make his own human centipede.

Lemme just jump right into to what pissed me off. Nevermind it being in black and white the ENTIRE time but the little creep gets his victims at the parking garage where he works as security. Fair enough he takes whoever happens to be in the garage late at night while he's there. BUT at one point he sees a family: a PREGNANT mother, a little baby boy, and the dad. He takes both parents and leaves the baby in the car crying its poor little head off. Then to make matters worse eventually the mother gets away and escapes into a car and she has her baby but then while shes mashing on the gas to get away she crushes her baby's head
for the person who created this piece of crap
. That shit is not at all cool! I understand you want the gore factor in your movies but don't be a freaking idiot. After that I didn't really give two shits about the movie. So part two was overall a piece of shit. Screw the storyline, screw the characters, when you have a baby dying in a movie like that you can count on me to hate your guts forever....don't watch it.


Mari
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